The Father & Son Morning Routine Challenge
Routine means everything to children, and us parents need it too.
Dear sweet child o’ mine,
On a Sunday morning we like to leave the apartment and find a coffee shop for breakfast.
We meandered through the old town wondering where to stop and ended up on the main shopping street at a Colombian cafe with Parisian style tables in the street.
I ordered a Spanish tortilla that was ruined by acidic peppers and an apple crepe that was ruined by burnt cinnamon.
You had pan tumaca with ham.
And your mother ate a croissant.
The weather was fine, the orange juice was fresh, and I hoped to have some time to read Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations in the sun.
Unfortunately for me, when you weren’t climbing on the table and stabbing everything you could with a fork, you were running around to every table.
Then the trumpets and drums of a local walking band kept passing by and you wanted to follow them and I realised my relaxing Sunday morning was a pipe dream.
It was getting to late morning by now and you still like your mid-morning siesta, so we decided to begin the 20 minute walk home.
Your Love For Water
On the way back we passed a fruit shop where the owner likes to offer free fruit to tourists and charge them twice the price.
“Campeón” he called as he cut a mandarin into quarters and came to place them in your hands.
I removed the pips and let you suck them while your mum bought some fruit and veg without asking the price, hoping to be treated as a local.
The mandarins were juicy and your t-shirt was soon stained and your hands were sticky.
Your mum left the shop feeling like a tourist and there began your whining.
Like me, you like things to be just so.
You don’t like sticky hands or things not as they should be when they could be as they would be if people engaged half a brain cell from time to time.
So we took a little detour to the fountain and washed your hands clean, and that’s when you became the centre of attention.
You kept trying to wriggle free and pull yourself into the cold water to swim fully clothed.
I picked you up to take off your socks and shoes so you could at least splish splash with your legs and you kicked and screamed thinking I wouldn’t let you near the water.
I sat you on the edge and your tears turned to a smile and everyone around the fountain smiled with you.
“He’ll be a lifeguard when he grows up. Look, he wants to jump in!”
You’ve always loved the water, at bath time, in the pool, at the beach.
You splished and you splashed and by now it was midday and you were as tired as a one-legged man in a flintstone car.
So we took you home and the whinging got worse on the way and there was nothing we could do to soothe you until you were in bed with the bottle in your mouth.
You always follow the same bedtime routine.
Your Bedtime Routine
Some people live their life scheduled minute by minute.
Others live by no schedule, not even a regular sleep schedule.
Both are fools.
The former leave no room for spontaneity, but are often effective at their chosen tasks.
The latter’s lives are chaotic and ridden with anxiety because they can’t trust themselves even to eat and sleep on time.
The answer, as with most things, was given to us by Aristotle c. 2400 years ago: “The Doctrine Of The Mean” or “The Golden Mean.”
According to Aristotle, optimum behaviour is in the mean between two extremes — one of excess and the other of deficiency.
For example, where courage is a virtue, recklessness is its vice of excess and cowardice is its vice of deficiency.
We try to stick to strict routines for sleeping and eating and leave you free to play and explore in between.
Sleepy time usually follows a bath and it’s always me who comes with the towel for towel time.
I pick you up and you know where we’re going as you look to the kitchen to the get bottle of slightly warmed milk from the microwave.
Mummy sometimes has your nappy ready, and when she doesn’t I go into your play room to get one, and that’s when the mummy monster strikes…
You know she’s around the corner and your face lights up in anticipation.
She begins to chase and roars like a little lion as she does and just when she’s about to get you I spin you away from her and run to the bedroom.
In the bedroom you wait for me to place the pillow on the bed before you jump out of my arms like a mad boy straight on the pillow before rolling over.
As mummy makes herself comfortable to put on your nappy and pyjamas, you put yourself in place, lying on your back, looking at me as I pretend to leave the room… and as I do, about to move out of sight, you shout and I turn and run and jump onto the bed and bite your belly like a ravenous tiger.
You laugh hysterically and we repeat the game until you’ve had enough and you’re ready to let me leave and have your milk.
You sit up and watch me as I approach the door to turn one last time to wave at you, and you’re already waving.
“Daddy. Loves. You.” I say and you smile as mum lifts you between her legs, puts the bottle in your mouth, and the lights go out.
The Morning Routine Challenge
The difficulty we have in the mornings is that as your parents we’re tired all the time.
It’s for a few reasons:
Both your mother and I are more inclined to late nights than early mornings
You still wake up a few times a night and when you do you scream until you have your milk
Sometime not long after 5am you crawl into our bed and start kicking me in the kidneys
This makes it very difficult for us to both to set a solid morning routine as we’re desperate for another 5 minutes.
So our morning routine must begin the night before…
The goal is to be in bed by 10pm.
Then, we wake up in the morning and your mother takes the first shift with you, leaving me free to read and plan my day before work.
You and mummy go to the kitchen and prepare breakfast for 8:30am and we all eat together as a family.
That way I’m ready to start work at 9am and you and mummy are ready to play and learn in your play room.
We tried it this morning for the first time and it was the best morning in a long time and it set the tone for the day.
Although it was a work day and not a slow Sunday, following a clear plan and both starting our day that way worked.
So the challenge is to keep it going.
I would appreciate your help if you could delay the kidney kicks an hour.
Love,
Your Father.