You Peed On Me Twice: A Father's Responsibility As A Role Model
Alexander the Great had Aristotle, Socrates had Plato, and Marcus Aurelius had Epictetus, Antoninus Pius, and Maximus. Who will you have?
Dear Special Boy,
You are potty training and peed on me twice this week.
You take off your nappy and walk around in god’s good glory.
Self-consciousness hasn’t found you yet and may it take a while yet to darken your door.
Every little prince begins the same, so you don’t need to worry.
The reason I’m writing to you is for something far more important…
Who will you model yourself on to become a great man?
What Potty Training Has Taught Me About How You Copy Daddy
I work at a standing desk with a yellow and blue checked armchair for when I hit mode two to sit.
You like to climb and sit on my lap and tip and tap on the keyboard and push the under-screen button that turns it off.
Unfortunately for me, rather than sit on the potty, you prefer to sit on my lap and pee.
By the time I put you on the potty you get up, turn around, hold your hand on your tinky winky, hips forward, like a cherub 6 pints in, but have nothing left to give.
You already emptied the contents of your bladder on my legs and chair.
Mummy dearest is determined to continue with this strategy.
I wonder, would she feel the same if it were she who felt the warm trickle of her son’s bladder upon herself and workspace?
From Father to Son, and I whisper it quietly so she won’t hear, you will run that test, won’t you?
A Father’s Responsibility As A Role Model
At its peak, Rome had a succession of Five Good Emperors: Nerva, Trajan, Hadrian, Antoninus Pius, and Marcus Aurelius.
Considering the Father & Son them of my letters to you, what fascinates me about this lineage is that it not a succession of blood line.
The 5 great emperors were adopted by previous emperors for their virtue, wisdom, and temperament.
The line ended with Marcus Aurelius’ natural born son, Commodus.
Marcus had 6 children who grew to adulthood and 7 who perished in childhood.
Commodus was his only surviving son and unfit to lead.
Great mentorship guarantees nothing if the natural character is lacking, but great people are often formed by great people.
Alexander the Great was tutored by the famous philosopher Aristotle in Pella from the age of 13.
Marcus Aurelius’ tutors followed the teaching of the famous Stoic slave-philosopher Epictetus.
And Lorenzo de Medici (Il Magnifico) was tutored by the Humanist Philosopher Marsilio Ficino.
All three are rare examples of great leaders who combined wisdom with power.
Two were born to power, one was adopted as a chosen future emperor, all were educated in Philosophy
Why am I telling you this?
Who Will Your Role Models Be?
The way you model me and those those around you proves that children live what they see.
You wear my trousers, wear my shoes, like to sit at the table with me, hug like I hug, and play with my pens and computer as I do.
The importance of role models don’t just to apply to great leaders of history.
Children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor
Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse
71% of high school dropouts are fatherless
Fatherless children are eight times more likely to be on the at-risk register and 50 times more likely to die of an inflicted injury than those living with two biological parents
That’s why these letters alone aren’t enough.
One day you will read them and laugh and cry and I’m sure marvel at your Father’s efforts.
But that’s not why I write.
These letters shine a light on my own character and where I must improve to be a model you deserve.
There is a reason why the many of the great people in history have a strong foundation in Philosophy in their formative years.
Beyond my own character, I’m writing a series of Historical Fiction based on the life of Marcus Aurelius for you to read too.
My hope is that, between me, Marcus, other Philosophers who come to know, and the other teachers you meet in life, you’ll find a character capable of enduring life’s sufferings, enjoying its pleasures, and being a source of goodness for those who cross your path.
With love,
Your Father
Nice work, Edward!